Process Guide - 10 min read - Updated January 2026
What to Expect From a Family Lawyer in New Zealand
Working with a family lawyer for the first time can feel daunting. This guide walks you through exactly what to expect from your first meeting through to case resolution, including timelines, communication, and how costs work.
Quick Overview: Working With a Family Lawyer
- First meeting: 30-60 minutes to discuss your situation and options
- Case assessment: Lawyer evaluates your matter and provides strategy
- Communication: Regular updates via your preferred method
- Timeline: 2 weeks to 2+ years depending on complexity
- Costs: Usually hourly billing with regular invoices
Your First Meeting With a Family Lawyer
The initial consultation sets the foundation for your working relationship. Here's what typically happens:
Before the Meeting
- Book your appointment: Many lawyers offer free 15-30 minute calls, or paid consultations of 60-90 minutes
- Complete intake forms: Basic information about yourself and your matter
- Gather documents: Any relevant paperwork (see list below)
- Write down your questions: Come prepared with what you want to know
During the Consultation
Your family lawyer will:
- Listen to your story: Give them a clear, factual overview of your situation
- Ask clarifying questions: About relationships, children, property, and timeline
- Explain relevant law: How NZ family law applies to your circumstances
- Outline your options: Different paths you could take and their implications
- Discuss likely outcomes: Realistic expectations based on their experience
- Provide cost estimates: What the matter is likely to cost overall
- Recommend next steps: What should happen immediately
Documents to Bring to Your First Meeting
- Photo ID (driver's licence or passport)
- Any existing court orders or agreements
- Marriage/civil union certificate if applicable
- Children's birth certificates
- Property documents (titles, valuations, mortgage statements)
- Recent financial statements (bank, KiwiSaver, investments)
- Relevant correspondence or text messages
- Timeline of key events
Case Assessment Process
After your initial meeting, your lawyer will assess your case more thoroughly:
What They Evaluate
- Legal merits: How strong is your position under NZ law?
- Evidence: What documentation supports your case?
- Complexity: Are there complicating factors (trusts, businesses, overseas assets)?
- Other party: What approach is the other side likely to take?
- Children's welfare: If kids are involved, what's in their best interests?
- Resolution options: Can this settle without court?
You'll Receive
- A written letter of engagement outlining terms and fees
- Assessment of your case and recommended strategy
- Timeline estimate for resolution
- Cost estimate or quote for the work
Typical Timelines for Family Matters
Every case is different, but here are general timeframes:
| Matter Type | Typical Timeline |
|---|---|
| Separation agreement (agreed) | 2-4 weeks |
| Relationship property (agreed) | 4-8 weeks |
| Divorce application | 4-6 months |
| Parenting order (agreed) | 2-3 months |
| Parenting order (contested) | 6-18 months |
| Complex custody dispute | 12-24+ months |
| Protection order (urgent) | 24-48 hours |
| Relationship property (disputed) | 6-24 months |
What Affects Timeline?
- Agreement between parties: Matters resolve much faster when both sides cooperate
- Court availability: Family Court waiting times vary by region
- Complexity: More assets, children, or issues means longer timeframes
- Need for reports: Psychologist or Lawyer for Child involvement adds time
- Overseas elements: International aspects complicate matters significantly
Communication Expectations
Good communication is essential for a successful lawyer-client relationship.
What to Expect From Your Lawyer
- Response times: Emails within 1-2 business days, calls returned within 24 hours
- Regular updates: Proactive contact when there's news or progress
- Clear explanations: Legal jargon translated into plain English
- Document sharing: Copies of all correspondence and court documents
- Billing transparency: Regular itemised invoices showing work done
What Your Lawyer Expects From You
- Honesty: Tell them everything - even embarrassing or unfavourable facts
- Responsiveness: Reply promptly when they need information
- Organisation: Provide requested documents in a timely manner
- Payment: Pay invoices on time as agreed
- Realistic expectations: Understand what's achievable under the law
Communication Tip
At your first meeting, discuss preferred communication methods. Some lawyers use client portals, others prefer email. Establish how urgently you can reach them if something critical happens, and who to contact if they're unavailable.
How Family Lawyer Costs Work
Understanding the billing process helps avoid surprises:
Common Fee Arrangements
- Hourly rate: Most common - you pay for time spent on your matter ($250-450/hour typical)
- Fixed fee: Set price for defined work (common for simple divorces, agreements)
- Retainer: Upfront deposit that's drawn down as work is done
- Legal aid: Government-funded assistance if you qualify
What's Typically Charged For
- Meetings and phone calls
- Reviewing and drafting documents
- Correspondence with other parties
- Research and preparation
- Court attendance and travel
- Disbursements (court fees, photocopying, expert reports)
Billing Frequency
Most family lawyers bill monthly, though some bill fortnightly during busy periods. You should receive itemised invoices showing:
- Date and description of each task
- Time spent (usually in 6-minute units)
- Who did the work (different rates for partners vs juniors)
- Disbursements and GST
The Family Law Process Step by Step
Typical Process Flow
- Initial consultation - Discuss your situation and options
- Engagement - Sign letter of engagement, pay retainer if required
- Information gathering - Collect documents, obtain valuations if needed
- Negotiation/mediation - Attempt to resolve matters without court
- Court filing - If needed, applications are filed with Family Court
- Conferences - Judge-led settlement conferences to narrow issues
- Hearing - If still disputed, formal hearing before a judge
- Orders - Court makes final orders
- Implementation - Carrying out the orders (property transfer, etc.)
What Makes a Good Family Lawyer Relationship
The best outcomes come from mutual respect and clear expectations:
Green Flags
- Listens carefully and asks thoughtful questions
- Explains things clearly without condescension
- Is honest about costs and likely outcomes
- Responds within promised timeframes
- Encourages settlement where appropriate
- Keeps you informed proactively
Red Flags
- Guarantees outcomes (no lawyer can)
- Unreturned calls or emails for days
- Unclear or surprising bills
- Encourages litigation when settlement is possible
- Makes you feel rushed or dismissed
- Doesn't explain your options
Questions to Ask Your Family Lawyer
- What experience do you have with cases like mine?
- What's your honest assessment of my situation?
- What are my realistic options?
- How long will this likely take?
- What will it cost, and how do you bill?
- Who else might work on my file?
- How will you keep me updated?
- What do you need from me?
- Is mediation likely to help?
- What happens if we can't reach agreement?